What a complicated man. His parents assigned him the name of Charles, but it didn't stick long. As a matter of fact, it barely out lived the functionality of his left eye. From that point on he was forced to be on the receiving end of many different forms of physical and psychological abuse. His family loved him, but there was only so much they could do to protect this weary soul. He left home at age nine, hoping to find peace and productivity elsewhere in this world. For roughly twenty-three years he experimented with Rubik's Cubes as part of a fierce internal battle regarding his intellectual might and confidence. However at a certain point he was simply too fast. He figured it was time to dedicate his life to something purposeful rather than a ridiculously mainstream hobby. He figured he enjoyed working with kids (subconsciously, this was a result of attending so many speed cubing conventions), so he started taking cheap community college classes hoping to get his mind into shape and pursuing a bachelors in education. Sadly, the lack of a second eye made it hard for him to read words on the left side of a page without turning his neck excessively. This shouldn't have been enough to crush his dream, but what can we say. Charles was an elegant twerp. So, rather than working in the classroom he did the most practical thing he could think of just outside of it. He stood watch at a crosswalk for centuries, using his astounding patience at attention to detail to protect children and adults alike.
Now his face lies dormant, a powerful reminder of all the good he did for our world.
Love you Charles.
